Misapplication of Theories of Being and Non-Being

Forgive me, oh Fanon, for using your work to analyze the life of this petit bourgeois bastard.

But first, who thought “hey, let’s mix guavas and bananas to make a syrupy concoction and then call it 20% fruit nectar blend.” It has the most strange texture and it tastes like a mistake. A brilliant mistake. Stroke of genius. World altering.

Now, onto the other business. Someone once said that the microwave and cellular technology both destroy the things which they were designed to improve in much the same way. The heater is meant to reanimate cold meals to the fresh out the pot states while the phone is meant to enhance and sustain relationships.

It is clear how they fail terribly at their assignments. The cellphone is particularly devastating to our I-Want-You-But-I-May-Want-Someone-Else-Soon-So-Lets-Not-Commit-Until-Its-Too-Late generation. Non-sexual relationships, all inclusive. It takes away the physical interaction which is so necessary for releasing nice things like actual laughter in the place of “lmao” and oxytocin leading to trust and so and such. Friendships and the processes are microwaved so that one person may have 7 associates who are all apparently very close friends and still be shocked when one of that number commits suicide with the septagon holder having not an inkling of the troubles of their now deceased pal. Camus weeps. I am further unsure whether that’s a real word or if it’s a “non-word” as the passively aggressively racist cultural bigot may remark in an extensively detailed YouTube comment.

It means that we are talking all the time without meaning anything, really. We see each other’s hurt but because trust is lacking, and we do not need to invade personal space to enjoy cold ones in demon infested locales we watch the demise of those around us and then cut them of because we heard in some film that misery loves company and you are only responsible for yourself. Damn, capitalism!

When we do actual have something to say and volunteer, it comes in the form of subliminal subtweets, subgrams or subsnaps. Not sure yet how Whatsapp is playing in that game. So as that Adam dude said, here we are with no true friendship support networks, screaming in the emptiness’ of ourselves for others to hear while quietly envying their carefully curated perfect lives, otherwise delivered by way of social media presences and such and so. All the while wondering where these friends are.

Funny enough, that’s not the worst of it. Those impressions of having networks of people down for you, who’ve got your back, who are day 1s are actually validly perceived.

Group chats.

Having not had a “smartphone” for the better part of two months, I’ve come to realise that for most of the people I engage with I do not actually exist unless I am around them in the physicality which is cyberspace and time. The problem relates again to the formation of trust. But here there tends to be a trust shared among about 13 of the 18 members in a whatsapp group. I mean, everything is tied up together in a snaking chain of who likes, tolerates and extorts who in these friendship circles. It is the base of everything, offering little corners of interweb school yards for the like-minded to act like each other, and validate each other. And then also validate each other with #BBFFs et al on facebook, the gram, the snap. #SquadGoals

The price is endless cry-laughing emojis at the driest, most boring jokes and memes in fear of retaliation of non-response when one also sends their non-jokes in desperation of an audience. The point is no one in the group is your friend, they’re our friend. Except if you actually did share oxytocin and physical-real time awkward moments with out ruining the whole affair.

That’s what I realized after only one of those many sought me out because it’d been a while. I am realistic, and knew definitely that they aren’t all my friends on those 12 groups I am in in total. But fuck.

Apparently I stopped existing when I stopped having a smartphone. It’s been fantastic, I must admit. Easier for the work of the days.

Know your people, test your people, approve who are you people and you’ll never wonder what it would be like if you don’t see them for a hundred days.


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