Day 30 – The Exciting Madness

There is an exhilarating rush of madness that catches me when the prospect of going out, and being around people comes up. Today, I was on the Twitters posting my TGIF declaration and checking out others’ ones too, and this wave of inexplicable joy washed over me.

I also went to lurk on a few pages which had fire club content and pictures. That certainly didn’t help. The question in my head, instinctively by now, was “can I get ready before the gatekeepers get home?”. It was terrifying, to be quite fucking honest, when I realized the only thing holding back the impulse was external.

I actually like people now. Talking to them, listening (which I’ve always enjoyed btw), and watching them. I don’t often get the knee jerk no reaction to invites, and actually get anxious about declining for fear that I won’t be invited next time.

Basically, went from one extreme to the other. Go figure.

That’s it. This is about finding the middle and being able to calibrate myself when it isn’t instinctive.

Since 31 is the monthiest of month calculation, I shall read back tomorrow.

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