The other day was the so-called day 1. So much for that and how it went.
I am not going to stop having day ones until day two is reached. That’s simply because I refuse to give up on myself, how far I have come and gone but more importantly how much I’ve put my people through, how much they’ve let me put them through, how much they chosen to go through and how much they are still willing to continue with. For me.
Now, what was that poem about the wilderness and the dark, again? Like, how to burn it all to the ground and come out smoking for the better. Whats’s Gucci, Valeryia.
I have really gone beyond all imagination. The old consolations no longer hold or soothe. It is I, and I to the exclusion of others that is responsible and reckless. Wow.
While it may seem futile, in any case, it is always important to apologize even if one suspects one’s behaviour shan’t change. It is a recognition of the humanity of the others one has yet.
How is it then best to show love, as opposed to the windowless “recognition” above? Well, my dear boy, action is telling. Consideration. Commitment. If not for yourself, then for love.
Sigh. It is more and more meaningless, a fading ray of sun to hope on those terms. What started true and strong becomes of jest in the light of experience and new reality. It seems a farce.
New realities become old histories, though.
It is clear that the old course has failed. Severally. In multiples. Again and again. Increasingly severely. Whether by faulty design or non-committed implementation one does not have the means now to address.
It must then be resolved by throwing everything to the wall and to keep throwing until the desired results are achieved.
Now it won’t just be for me. But for them, as well.
And so it begins.
P.S. You are on your own.